A New Beginning
by pebbles7a
Summary: After Will's death in a hostage situation, it's up to Reid to support JJ and Henry as the godfather. Criminal Minds Fanfiction. *** I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS! ***
1. Chapter 1

**A New Beginning**

Characters in chapter: Reid, JJ, Henry, Rossi, Hotch, Morgan, Garcia, Will and Prentiss.  
Setting(s): Funeral Home.  
Story Summary: After Will's death in a hostage situation, it's up to Reid to support JJ and Henry as the godfather.

***Very special thanks to my fanfic loving friends/managers/betareaders Dannilovescandy,GleefullPotterheadStarkidgir l,Celene L, drawesomenerdygirl, 1Dlover for helping me read and re-read everything and helping make this creation to come together! :D Feel free to read and review! This is my first fanfiction and i'm really hoping this goes well! I will add a new chapter every Sunday!  
Pebbles7a :D

**Chapter 1: The Funeral**

The morning period had just begun. He entire team sat front row at the funeral home in New Orleans. Garcia whimpered into Morgan's chest while he gently cooed comforting words into her ear. Hotch sat tall, but seemed out if it as he stared blankly ahead into the distance. Prentiss sat beside him silently wiping off tears with her thumb. Rossi, seemed to be praying, with his head facing downsides and his eyes closed, his lips gently forming silent prayers. At the front sitting in uncomfortable chairs sat the victims. Reid and JJ sat beside each other, her arms wrapped tightly around Henry's tiny frame. "What am I going to do, how am I supposed to even start comforting her in such a heart-wrenching time?" Reid's mind was churning at an impressive speed. The result turning up weren't helping the situation at all, on most of the homicide cases he's worked on, it's taken the fiancee's many months of gut wrenching sorrow and therapy to even get them on the right track. "I'm not ready for this." his leg twitched nervously at he thought more and more about the future, his future.

The stained glass windows reflected all different colours around the room as if trying to cheer up the situation without success. The whole town seemed to be crammed into the small funeral home. The minister took his place at the podium and everyone silenced, not that many people we talking anyway. "We are all here today to honor the unfortunate death of detective William LaMontage Jr."  
Just at the mention of her fiancee's name, JJ flinched and squeezed Henrys waist. Reid instinctively put his hand on her shoulder, surprising himself as well as her. This sudden movement made this braniac realize how much he really did care about her. She looked up and their eyes met. It didn't take a profiler to see the indescribable sorrow flowing through her veins, and it didn't take a genius to know this was going to be a long grueling healing process.  
After the never ending, tear depriving speech from the minister, Reid's thoughts were interrupted by the groaning of the chair beside him. JJ taking Henry, walked up to the podium. When getting there she cleared her throat and adjusted the microphone.  
"Will was the most kind and considerate men I had ever known..." her voice faded and cracked at the end of the sentence. She turned away for a moment, gathering her courage.  
"Daddy!" Henry shrilled pointing at the picture of Will on the table. JJ lost it. She broke out in sobs, Reid stood up and took her shaking frame into his arms. He had to comfort her in her time of need. He started gently leading her to her seat. "Only 2 hours to go..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Place To Stay

The sobbing, the tears, and the heart wrenching cries were enough to make Reid feel sick. As they were walking back to their seats, JJ whispered in his ear  
"Spencer, can we please go home?" Her eyes pleaded more then her voice did.  
"Only a few hours to go." He replied sadly.  
Even with all his training in tough situations, nothing could have prepared him for this. An hour passed by and JJ managed to control herself, that was until the casket burying. After that long hard moment it was finally dismissal time. Reid would be driving Henry and JJ home since the team pronounced her mentally unstable...he would be too in this situation. As his car started up, Reid spoke softly.  
"JJ, I was wondering if you wanted Henry to stay at my apartment? Garcia and I could watch-"  
"No."  
The sharpness in her voice caused his foot to hit the brake abruptly, stopping the car momentarily.  
"I was only trying to help..." he said starting to drive again, his voice sounding like a lost puppy.  
"I know spence, but at a time like this you just want your family with you." at the word family her voice faded. Glancing quickly in her direction, he noticed her eyes once again had brimmed with tears.  
After thinking about the comment she made he asked cautiously.  
"Would you like a place to stay?"  
"Spence. I don't know what to say, plus you live in an apartment isn't it squishy enough? Where would we sleep?"  
"Well I could ask my neighbor for a crib, and I have a pull out couch."  
"Would it make you feel better if I agreed?"  
"Maybe a little..." she turned to look at him with a slight sad smile. A smile that didn't look like much but was enough to bring Reid back to the day he first met agent Jennifer Jerome and her smile lit up his whole world. Suddenly everything hit him, this entire situation meant something and he had found the moral. JJ just wanted to forget, escape the pain. She just wanted to start over, he was her escape.  
"I have to get some stuff first."


	3. Chapter 3

***Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted but there's been a lot on my plate recently... good and bad, but regardless, I feel like a well-oiled machine and ready to start posting every Sunday! Sorry this chapter short but they get longer I promise! Thanks again to my team and Thanks to my readers! :D ***

Chapter 3: Family?

Her smile didn't last long. The second they pulled into reality, it hit like a bullet. Her eyes showed early signs of tears and she suddenly wasn't herself. She was an entirely different person. She slowly opened the car door, and leaving it opened, walked numbly to her front porch. Reid grabbed Henry from the back seat, closed her door and approached her. From the car, he could hear her sobbing. _I'm going to need assistance. _He quickly pulled out his cellphone and dialed Garcia's number. "

Hey tall and handsome. How's it going with JJ"

her voice wasn't as cheery as usual, but who's would be at a time like this. "

That's what I called about. I don't have time to explain but I need backup. We're at her house."

"On my way baby."

*click* He slowly marched up the stairs and set Henry down. Leaning down to her height, began making slow circles on her back. The only sound was JJ's sobbing. It seemed to echo, the whole world seemed to fall silent and the only sound Reid could hear was her pain. It wouldn't stop, how could it? The sound seemed to get louder and louder, he closed his eyes to try and minimize the sound, without result, he felt as if he couldn't take it anymore, he was ready to get up and leave when he heard something, tires hitting the pavement, he breathed a sigh of relief, his assistance had finally arrived.

*Be prepared to be amazed next chapter! It will be an emotional roller coaster! Just giving an early Warning :D*

Pebbles7a


	4. Chapter 4

*Yea! Finally a long chapter! Now I appreciate all the reviews but regarding the Chapter 2 mistake of spelling JJ's name wrong, I am fully aware of my type-o but cannot figure out how to change it. Thank you for all the support and thank you guys for coming back and reading more!*

Garcia stepped out of the car and quickly ran to help him out.  
"JJ honey let's go sit in my car for a bit, Reid will pack your stuff for you."

While she said this she gently picked her up, grabbed Henry's hand and began walking. She turned around momentarily. Reid lipped a silent thank you followed by a sad smile, and turned to face the front door. He mentally prepared himself for what he might see and inhaled as he opened the door. He almost choked on the dust built up. It looked as if no one had been in the house for 3 days… the same amount of days Will's been dead. His heart dropped to his feet as he thought of JJ's loss. He quickly ran upstairs and entered Henry's bedroom. The un-made, toy covered area almost comforted Reid for the fact that something's still seemed semi normal after this major trauma. He took the small red suitcase from his closet and began to pack basic necessities that he might need: clothes, favorite toys, and of course his favorite teddy bear. He gently set the luggage into the main hall and approached the thick wooden door at the end of the corridor, the master bed room. He gently gripped the doorknob and turned shoving it forward and walking into the cluttered room. In her rage, her anger, her frustration she had torn apart her room. The dresser drawers were tossed carelessly about the room along with the clothing inside them. Make-up, shoes, curtains were removed from their respected places and thrown. Reid cautiously took a step forward and heard something crack under the sole of his shoe. His head snapped towards the ground beneath his foot as he lifted his foot to find a black and white photo of a smiling JJ, Will leaning over her shoulder placing a kiss on her cheek as an excited Henry sat on her lap. The frame was cracked and broken and his stomach knotted with what she must have gone through, having someone you loved with all your heart ripped from your arms never to be seen again. Reid's head was spinning, he couldn't handle being in this room anymore, he needed out of this dark depressing house. Quickly grabbing a suitcase he shoved some of the clothing off the ground, ran down the hall, grabbed Henry's stuff and dashed out of the front door.

"How did it go handsome?" Garcia said gently when she saw him emerge from the door.

Reid just looked at her in concern, his eyes asking where she was.

"Don't worry, she's in the car with Henry, by the way I was wondering where we were going to stay because we would need a substantial amount of room to accommodate this much family. Where are we headed?"

He looked up at her and everything seemed numb around him.

"Garcia, I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible, I appreciate your help with them but JJ's a mess and she needs somebody and I intend on being her shoulder to cry on." Half way through his sentence his voice cracked painfully as he tried to hold back fresh tears. Clearing his thought he stood up straight and headed towards Garcia's car. Without any words or fighting, he grabbed Henry and JJ, transferred them to his car and closed the doors. Garcia was standing at the passenger side window, not knowing what to say. Reid wasn't in the mood for talking and just drove past her towards his apartment. The ride up to the 4th floor was silent. Unlocking the front door they all stepped in, Henry plopping himself on the couch, Reid placing his satchel on the counter and JJ silently walked to the washroom and locked the door behind her. The night was uneventful. Reid made Kraft dinner for Henry, set up a bed on the couch for JJ and Henry and tucked him in. Sighing, Reid undressed and slipped into his pajama pants and plopped into bed. The bathroom door down the hall unclicked and he could hear the sounds of footsteps which stopped at the couch. She lied down and even from his bedroom; he could still hear her weeping herself to sleep.

**Awe! So cute! Do you fellow readers agree with my plot so far? Did you want to see a fan fiction based on this episode? Leave your answers in the review section and see you guys next week :) **


	5. Chapter 5

*** Hey Everyone! I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone because I'm up to 2000 views! I never thought this would happen ever, so thank you to all the viewers and my new member to the team Clementinecutie66 for beta reading! Also PLOT TWIST! :D ***

JJ was slowly coming around. She was eating again, she was talking more, and she was finally sleeping at night. Reid was doing absolutely everything in his moral power to make her and Henry happy. He constantly kept his groceries in stock; he cooked all the meals... well tried, he would greet them in the mornings with coffee for JJ and a glass of apple juice for Henry and, believe it or not, Reid even took off his vacation time from the BAU. The two of them had been staying in his tiny apartment for a month so far. JJ still owned her house but the thought of her having to face all the memories and familiar smells and sights was enough to send her into tears. Over that past few weeks Reid had noticed how much JJ really was relying on him to help take care of Henry. He overall didn't mind, but he was becoming more and more concerned for the future and if she would be able to support herself and Henry alone. Henry and Reid were watching TV on the tiny living room house. He took a quick glance at his watch

"Almost time to put little buddy to bed,"

He said with a smile while ruffling Henry's long blonde hair.

"Do you know where your mom is?"

"No" Henry said before turning back to the animated show on the screen. Reid picked up the remote and turned it off.

"How about I tuck you in tonight?" He asked

"YEAH!" Henry shrilled jumping onto Reid's lap. Grabbing Henry he carried him to the small bed they had set up in his bedroom and plopped him down onto it and threw the blankets over top of him.

"Ready?" He asked while Henry nodded a very excited yes.

``Once upon a time-``

``That was Will's job. ``

``I…I…I`m sorry, ``He stammered shocked by the fact that JJ was awake and that she had actually raised her voice towards him. Remembering back to previous cases, you shouldn't say the wrong thing when a person is this fragile. **_I have to agree with her. _**

"You're right, I'm sorry, I should have known"

He said calmly, gently closed the door, and walked past the bed. He could practically feel the heat of anger radiating off of her.

"Daddy!"

Henry yelled while reaching for Reid's t-shirt. JJ turned and glared at Henry with something Reid had never seen before.

"Henry! You must NEVER call him that again do you understand?!"

The sharpness in her tone caused him to start crying. Reid was taken aback by the intensity of her words when she turned to face him.

"WHY WOULD HE EVER CALL YOU THAT SPENCER?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

He said taking a shaky step towards her, his tall lean body closer towards her petite frame. Taking a deep step forward, she was almost face to face with him. She deeply growled "You're NOT his father, and he DOESN'T love you because no one is EVER going to love a freak genius like you!"

The words hit him like a wall of bricks. It wasn't his fault he had an IQ of 187. It wasn't his fault he had an eidetic memory; it wasn't his fault he couldn't fit in. At that moment all his work keeping their life content was drained away. He could feel the tears begin to sting his eyes and his poised posture deflated. He had nothing to say. He quickly ran into the kitchen, grabbed his satchel and walked out the front door. He took the elevator and walked down the street. He didn't know where he was going, he didn't care. His tears began to fall like the rain around him. Finally after what was around 10 minutes of walking he took shelter in a nearby bus stop. He sobbed, his lanky frame quivering from the cold. Everything seemed to be weighing down on his shoulders. Why

couldn't he just be normal like all the other kids?

"Mom, why do the other kids make fun of me?" a small 13 year old Reid asked his mom.

"It's because their jealous of your perfection" She said with a smile.

He had dealt with this "gift" for his entire life and couldn't deal with the discrimination anymore. His entire world had fallen apart in minutes, he needed to escape. He gently opened his cell phone and temporally forced himself to stop crying. Dialling the number of the local drug store he waited as the phone rang.

"Hello! Shoppers Drug Mart Mackenna speaking, how can I help you?" an all too cheery voice said from the other line.

Clearing his thought he replied "Hi, I'm looking for an urgent cough suppressant prescription."

"Sure, now what do you need: Delsym, Dilaudid or Noscapine?"

"Dilaudid please."

*DUN DUN DUN! Major Plot twist! Any guesses on where this plot line is going? Any suggestions to future chapters? Please spread the word of this Fanfiction, Comment, Rewiew, Alert, Favorite, Check out my profile! I appreciate you guys taking the time to read it and I will talk to you guys in next weeks jam action packed chapter!*

Pebbles7a


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I love all the reviews from last weeks chapter and sorry this ones so late, but enjoy! :D***

One dose would end his misery. One dose would take him away from this current hell and bring him relief, let him have a few blissful minutes of peace away from all the worry, disappointment and misunderstanding. He gently rolled the bottle of freedom in his shaky hands. Six years clean washed down the drain. What would the team say? Just at the thought of Morgan finding out made him shiver with fright.

"JJ used to care" he whispered under his breath. He quickly glanced up to make sure the bathroom lock was securely shut he began to fill the needle up with the clear liquid. Even though JJ and Henry had left before he came home that night, he knew he still had to be precautionary if he was going to start up with it again. He looked into the mirror only to see a weak, pale, and teary eyed face looking back at him. He was tired of crying for HER. Taking the now full needle he sunk to the floor.

"You left because you don't care about myself or my help… well Jenifer I hope your happy!"

He cried out loud as he plunged the needle into his forearm. Pressing that syringe was the best feeling you could imagine. Memories became a blur, emotions faded. His eyes fluttered shut and he grew limp, his head rolled back against the wall. His hand crashed to the floor beside him dropping the needle that rolled aimlessly across the room.

When he woke up he came back to reality in a panic, not realizing that he was safe at home. Not moving he sat in horror as the past events and heart wrenching emotions came flooding back into his head, but for some strange reason, at that moment, everything seemed easier to take in. He glanced at his watch. 7:36, he had been out for an hour. Slowly rising up off the floor his legs and knees wobbles feverishly from the lack of movement and his head spun. Gripping the bathroom counter he closed his eyes and forced himself to count breaths.

"One…Two…Three…Four…Five"

He counted out loud before opening his eyes, straightening up slowly and heading for his bedroom. Tomorrow was the day his vacation time finally ended and he had to be in the BAU at the early time of 6am to avoid any unwanted suspicion. That meant somehow making his skin less pale, his eye less dark, and most of all somehow hiding the fresh puncture wound on his arm.

The next morning came faster than he wanted. He'd barley slept that night. Crawling out of bed at 5:00 he had a steaming hot shower and dressed in a long sleeved purple dress shirt with a brown zigzagged vest and black dress pants. He walked into the kitchen and made himself a tea with extra sugar and thought about possible excuses that he could use for his pale skin. He was almost sure the team was aware that some sort of conflict had happened but they didn't know exact details which meant they would want a lot of details and information, and lucky him, JJ wouldn't be there for another month meaning that everyone would be on him. Just the thought of everyone staring at him when they came in the door that morning stressed him out immensely. His body already craved another dose but for obvious reasons he couldn't have another one yet, but he had already planned another session that night. Gulping down his tea, he quickly made another, grabbed his satchel, keys and left his home ready to face the world and dark reality once again.

**Hey guys and gals! I need serious advice and assistance on what should happen with the team next chapter! Message any ideas by Instant messaging me on my fanfic account OR leave a comment! All advice will be considered and thanks again for reading! See you next week!

Pebbles7a


	7. Chapter 7

***Hey Viewers! Sorry It's taken so long to update but I just needed some catch-up time. Quick thanks to all the views 3,500! I never in a million years thought this story would build up this fast and special thanks to my Beta reader! :D***

Reid pulled into the all too familiar BAU parking lot at the early time of 5:50am. Shutting the car off he leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes and sighed. His body was already aching for another dose of Dilaudid and it had been less than 12 hours. He didn't want to face the constant questioning stares of his fellow co-workers and the immediate prying questions. Opening his eyes he sat for a few moments staring at the lock on the building. Was it still to late to drive away and take another day off? No, there's no possible way, the team already knew he was coming back today and the last thing he wanted was suspicion in this situation. Grabbing his satchel from the passenger seat he dragged himself out of the car and began walking towards the door. Arriving he was relieved to see that it was still locked, no one had been inside yet. He opened his bag and was looking for his key when he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around quickly he nearly smacked into Morgans chest.

"Woah there pretty boy! Sorry didn't mean to scare you. Long time no see, how are you?" He said with a smile.

Turning away from Morgan and back towards the door, Reid took the keys and unlocked the door.

"I'm fine." Opening the door he walked swiftly towards his desk only to find stacks of files for him to read over. Just what he needed. Sitting down Morgan walked over and sat on the corner of his desk, watching him intently.

"How's the JJ situation?"

Reid looked away from Morgan's piercing stare and began unpacking his bag.

"Things didn't turn out like they should have..."

In a desperate attempt to change the subject he abruptly asked "Do you want a coffee?"

"Sure"

Just from his tone of voice Reid could tell he wanted more information but didn't want to push it, but in the first five minutes of the day, Reid already felt very uncomfortable.

Quickly grabbing the coffee's from the staff room he walked out to the main floor to find that Rossi, Garcia and Hotch had arrived. They all sat in chairs from nearby cubicles.

"Boy I hope one of those is for me!" Garcia said clearly trying to break the already building tension. Handing the coffee to Morgan, he sat down and could practically feel the eyes of everyone radiating onto his skin.

"Reid, could I talk to you in my office?" Hotch asked beginning to walk towards the stairs. This was what Reid had hoped and prayed wouldn't happen, not today. Sitting up he followed his boss into the principals office, all the time he could still feel the eyes of the others. Walking into the freshly air conditioned room Hotch closed the door behind him, and they both sat down.

"I know something went wrong between you and JJ, I'm not looking for details, I just want to know the last time you contacted her?"

"Two days ago, why?"

"I've been calling her house and cell and she hasn't picked up."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" He said immediately regretting how nasty that sounded. Hotch's head snapped up towards Reid looking directly into Reid's eyes.

"Listen I'm just as concerned as anyone for her at this time but right now you're the only one she is interested in seeing. She refuses to talk to any of us and I need you to go out and make sure she's ok." Reid felt like a helpless child under a parents punishment but suddenly rage filled his veins, everything came back to him, the fight, the yelling... the insult. He was tired of being the "Good one" on the team. Standing up he looked at Hotch and sternly said.

"I want nothing to do with her right now, see if someone else wants to hunt her down because right now that someone is NOT going to be me."

Calmly opening the door he walked down the steps, ignoring the others eyes as he sat down and began reading his files. He could only imagine what Hotch was thinking, but it felt good saying no and knowing that he was free of seeing Jennifer for a while. Plus, only a few more hours until he could take another dose of freedom.

*So what did you think?! Do you agree with Reid finally saying no to JJ? Interesting twist huh? Well see you guys next week and looking forward to some more reviews! c: *

Pebbles7a


	8. Chapter 8

*Woohoo another chapter! Sorry I missed another week but with exams and school ending it's been busy! But here it is!*

It took Reid 1.2 minutes to read 1 file, 11 files after the office conflict the team was called to the conference room. Everyone took their regular seats and faced the all too grossed out looking Garcia standing beside the screen.

"Ok so we have another crazy psychopath on our hands from Smallwood State who shot and killed Emily Herrick in front of her fiancée Adam McAlistar in their own home. The shooting happened around 7:32pm, neighbor Joseph called 911 around 7:35 and police found the husband unconscious in the room next to her."

"How did the unsub get into the house?" Morgan asked

"The couples home had a security camera installed at the front door, it caught an innocent looking salesman who obviously knew the camera angles and never had his face shown. The husband opened the door when he was attacked and that's when the man walked off camera and was seen walking out 10 minutes later with a gun, still not showing his face."

"This unsub had obviously been watching this couple for a while and had time to study the house if he had known where the camera was." Prentiss added.

"Was there suspicious behavior around the house earlier on?" Hotch questioned deep in thought.

"The security camera was installed because of a break in 3 weeks earlier..."

"Get ready to go, meet by the vans in 30... Reid, that includes you." Nobody noticed until then that Reid hadn't said anything through the entire presentation. Without reacting he stood up and exited followed by the others.

30 minutes passed and Reid dragged himself towards the van sitting down in the back passengers seat. Hotch was driving, Rossi sat in the passenger seat. The other van held Morgan and Prentiss who took the lean in bringing them to the crime scene.

A long hours drive of absolute silence passed slowly until finally the vans arrived at the Smallwood State police department. Stepping out of the car the team was greeted by a older gentleman dressed in a beige police uniform draped with medals and badges of different sizes and importance.

"Glad you could make it, heard you were the strongest and most successful FBI agents in a two hours travel radius, I'm Mr. Dallas, head of the department."

"Sorry to meet you on such a tragic note" Hotch stated

"I'm special agent Hotchner, these are special agents Derek Morgan, David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, and Dr. Spencer Reid." He said while pointing in their general direction. Mr. Dallas quickly bobbed his head in welcome and began walking them into the department, leading them into what looked to be a conference room consisting of a large rectangular table and a small but function able whiteboard with a map stuck to it.

"I hope you find this space to your liking, If there's any other information you need don't hesitate to come to me." He said before turning around and heading towards his office.

"Ok there's no time to lose, Morgan and Prentiss you head over to the coroners office to get the autopsy reports, Rossi Reid and I will head over to the victims home. Call if there's any leads" Hotch stated as everyone snapped into action. Quickly jumping into the car, Reid tried to prepare himself to another mess.

"Reid, I want you to interview Rossi and I will search the crime scene." Hotch stated as they pulled into the driveway of a beautiful two story Victorian styled house. It almost seemed normal besides the cop cars and caution tape dispersed around its premises. Stepping out Reid could clearly tell who Mr. McAlistar was.

Sat over in the back of the ambulance sobbing. Reid took a deep breath and approached the man,

"Hi, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid with the BAU, you're Mr. McAlistar right?" He asked cautiously. The man slowly looked up at the agents face, his bloody shot and tired eyes meeting his.

"Yes" he replied quietly standing up to shake his hand.

"I am here to ask you a few questions regarding the...accident that happened this morning." Just at the mention of the accident he winced. Tears filled his eyes once again as he nodded quickly in agreement.

"So..umm" Reid started becoming uncomfortable under the presence of a grown man crying. "Describe what you did when the doorbell rang?"

"Well," begin, his voice cracking and wavering "The doorbell rang, my fiancee and I were sitting in the living room, and the doorbell rang so I got up and opened it, and there was a man who looked like any regular business man so I said Hello and he jumped forward and hit me with the butt of his gun. I fell and.. and... and" his voice began to quaver, dangerously close to crying again.

"Please continue Mr. McAlistar, any information could help us with the case..."

"I...I fell and he walked pasted me, and I heard Emily scream and I blacked out. I couldn't help her, I loved her with all my heart and now she's gone!" The tears had began falling again and his sobbed wrenched through his body. That's when it hit Reid. Everything was taken from his grasp in seconds, just like JJ. His heart dropped to his feet and everything became unbearable all Reid could hear was the continuous heart wrenching whimpers and sobs of Mr. Mcalistar everything seemed to lay and weigh down on his shoulders. He could NOT be there any longer. Running from the ambulance he turned around to quickly glance at the figure of Mr. Mcalistar before facing forward and bumping into Morgan.

"Woah! Reid are you ok?" Hotch asked. Quickly fixing his vest he nodded "Yes"

"Well we just finished pretty boy ready to go?"

"Yes" he answered quickly and they all walked to the car.

It seemed to take way too long to reach the BAU.

"Everyone head home and get some rest." Hotch announced before turning to leave to his office. Reid grabbed his stuff and ran towards his car and sped home. **How could things as terrible as losing a first love happen to MULTIPLE people? **He parked the car and quickly rushed to the elevator and punched the 4 button. His leg twitched nervously as the elevator inched its way to his floor. Finally the doors opened and he ran down the hall and unlocked his door. Tossing his satchel on the sofa and shutting the front door quick he quickly ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. His adrenalin was pumping at an all time high, his hands shaking furiously as he grabbed the bottle and filled the syringe. Sitting down quickly he stabbed the needle into his forearm and enjoyed as the black filled his vision.

*Another plot twist next chapter! What did you think? Thanks for reading!*

Pebbles7a


	9. Chapter 9

*This chapter had to be told in JJ's Point of view and you'll find out why :) MAJOR PLOT TWIST! And don't forget to read ending note! :) Enjoy**

J.J's P.O.V

Henry and I had been staying in our house again but, I have been sleeping with him in his room. Even looking at the once master bedroom it keeps reminding me of something you love being torn from your life. I hate Will for doing what he did that day, being a hero. I keep getting calls from Hotch. He must be concerned, but I need a few more days.

Finally the phone calls got to me, he had been calling for two days and I finally answered.

"Hello?" I tentatively asked.

"J.J are you ok? I've been calling and you haven't been answering, anyways, I'm worried about Reid?" he continued to tell me he was worried about his mental state and his blow up. "Do you now what could have caused him to act like this?"

I knew he was was aware that something had happened between us, but had I really caused all of this? Was I really the one to be blamed for all of us?

"Not sure," trying not to sound timid because I was lying. "but I'll checkup on him tonight."

"OK, let me know if you need anything or keep me updated on any progress."

"Will do" I said hanging up

Turning around to face Henry I asked, "Ready to go see Spencer?"

Taking the spare key from the secret compartment located behind the siding of his doorway, I went to unlock the door, I inserted the key, but it didn't click. It was unlocked already. Every since the Tobias Hankel he has always been adamant on having his door locked, his shield against ever having to go through pain like that again. My heart dropped and I immediately ran through his doorway leaving the door ajar.

"Reid!" my voice was desperate and I was trembling uncontrollably. He wasn't in his living room or Kitchen so I ran into his bedroom and saw the bathroom light on underneath the door. I was paralyzed with fear, fear that whatever I saw was my fault.

"REID!" I screamed again on the verge of tears opening the door and seeing his pale limp body. I gasped and leaned down to cradle his head. "Reid?!" I said panicking quickly leaning down towards his lips. **Oh thank GOD, he's breathing. **Suddenly it hit me underneath his arm lies a needle. Dilaudid... and this was all my fault. I sat and sobbed into his pale purple dress shirt and cradled his head. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry."

"Mommy?" my head snapped towards the door and I saw Henry's silhouette rounding the corner. **He can't see this. **

**"**Henry honey, mommy will be out in a minute. Why don't you turn on the TV until then?" I held my breath anticipating an argument but to my relief he said ok and left. I quickly closed the door and sat holding Reid for what seemed like hours. After 5 minutes of my arriving he began to mumble things, he was clearly having flashbacks from his kidnapping.

"No...no... stop I don't want it." His head began rolling from side to side. "I'm not weak..." now his hands were balled into fists, his knuckles white. Almost instantaneously his body language completely changed. It went limp again and he whimpered, his voice cracking with fear. "No please don't, No!" his body shook, sweat coated his skin. His drugs were supposed help him escape, not bring back painful memories. All I could possibly do was stay with him which I should have done from the start. He had done anything and everything in his power to make us comfortable and feel at home , but all I had done is made this happen. Suddenly his body began convulsing.

"No no NO!" He screamed suddenly bolting awake. I grabbed his arms instinctively to try to hold him down to prevent himself from hurting himself in his delirium. He was breathing hard and desperately trying to pry my hands away from him. His panicked eyes turned towards me and violently ripped my hands off, crawling away from me. His heaving chest was a sure sign I came as a huge shock to him. He still seemed lost.

"Reid, Please it's me JJ" Still startled he chocked out a answer. "I-I-I I know! What the heck are you doing here?!"

"Reid I'm so sorry..." I said as tears began to fall again. I carefully began to stand up and approach him like a shy animal.

"No stay away from me!" His words were harsh but I could understand where they were coming from.

"Reid, please I know what you've been doing-"

"I-It's not what it looks like!" He shouted disparately. I looked him in the eyes and all tension in his body seemed to fade. "Please don't tell Morgan..." his head fell to the floor in shame.

"I'm just so sorry I put you through this." My lip quivered while saying this when he didn't look up.

"Where's Henry?" he asked.

"Living room... he doesn't know anything."

"Listen JJ I don't need to help you If you don't want me to. I was just trying to help you know... ever since the Godfather thing. I took an oath that day, I promised to step in and protect you if Will ever... you know. I'm sorry. It's your decision and I should have asked."

The sincerity in his voice melted my heart, he really did care. Even after what I had done to him. I could probably never make it up to him. I leaned forward and grabbed his chin lifting it up to meet my eyes. All at once I leaned forward and kissed him.

*HOLY BARNACLES HOWS THAT FOR AN ENDING TO A CHAPTER?! Now here's the deal, I'm taking a review vote. weather to write a chapter on when Reid woke up or just continue with the story in Reid's P.O.V I'll be tallying up the votes and doing whatever one wins for next week. Thank you so much to aartisticmusician for helping with this story and most of all thank you to you guys. Sorry if it sounds cheesy but I really appreciate every bit of your input. See you guys next week! Pebbles7a :D


End file.
